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This Money Pit.

July 31st, 2008 at 02:06 am

Well, not much to report. Things with BF are better, but I'm still not 100% sure what I want or what I should do about everything. I have more or less been trying NOT to think about it, because I always over-analyze and I feel like I'll gain clarity faster if I focus on something else for a while.

So that something else has been work. I've completed a number of my correspondence courses, in between working my butt off at the store itself.

I think I'll try the expense tracking again in August. We improved at it in July, so hopefully August will be even better.

BF has decided that he is going back to college whenever we figure out where we'll be for more than 6 months at a time. He doesn't want to take a bunch of classes that won't eventually transfer to wherever we end up and where he gets his degree from. I was a little shocked when he told me. We've talked about him going to finish his Associate's before, but he said he's going to get a Bachelor's. That is a big step for him, and I appreciate it. I think our relationship will benefit alot when he is on "level footing" as far as having a college degree.

I know it shouldn't matter, but he gets depressed sometimes that he isn't the "provider", and thinks I'm not proud of him for anything. I tell him that I am, for the person that he is, his work ethic, his kindness, etc... but I think it is something he needs to do for himself. And of course I will be thrilled if he can find a better quality of work, with better working conditions & pay.

I transferred $20 to our Orange Savings a few days ago. Even though I'm really trying to focus on paying down our debt, I know that we need to be saving some for the holidays, so that we don't end up racking up more credit card debt right before the pup needs surgery.

I'm thinking of trying to work a few more hours per week at work. The good part is that I'm technically an employee of the corporation, not the store, so the no-overtime rule doesn't apply to me. The bad news is, that I don't get paid very much for overtime (to discourage it I guess). But even if I can just get there 30 minutes early on days that I work... I always end up staying 15 minutes later to close anyway. So that might add up to an extra $4/day by the time taxes are taken out. Then that would be about $20/week, or $80/month.

Another reason I'm working so hard is that I am trying to make sure I get done a little early. Spring is our busy time, so I'm afraid if I wait until March (my supposed end date), they won't want to move me in the middle of it. Then I'd be waiting another 4 months to begin my next segment.

Plus, wherever we end up, the cost of living just about HAS to be less than here. If we can get rent for $500, and live close enough to work that our gas is $200, we will be saving $800/month automatically! That's not even counting the raise I'm supposed to get! So yea, the sooner we can get out of this money-pit, the better!

4 Responses to “This Money Pit.”

  1. baselle Says:

    Your BF should remember that Bill Gates didn't finish his college degree. Sometimes it matters, sometimes it doesn't. During his salary negotiation he found out that other people think highly of him, not just you...so he shows off many great qualities other than a college degree.

    DH and I traded off being the provider. Maybe its just your turn. Smile

  2. pjmama Says:

    I just read your last post and it seems like you've been doing quite a bit of self and relationship analysis. Just wanted to say good luck and I hope things turn up well. Dont want to get you off focus! Sometimes you have to let things cool down, after all! Ring my page if you want to talk it over more, and good luck with expense tracking for August!

  3. momcents Says:


    Glad that things are move stable for you - nothing worse than living in relationship turmoil. Your talk about BF and school struck a chord with me. I have a Master's Degree and I thought it was important for DH to have one, too. He has always worked full-time and dislikes school with a passion (did get thru a BA). When he had tuition reimbursement, I said "It is foolish to squander FREE money for educational purposes." (OK, it is taxable income). He took classes and got so totally burnt on it that he stopped seven classes short of his Master's. He said he might go back to finish - he might not. The funny thing is he has picked up all of this side work for my dad making substantial side income. He likes to talk with the tenants and enjoys working with his hands, and he's learning practical and useful skills like plumbing and construction.

    I think my point is: It is best for him to pursue what he wants in his own timeframe, rather than doing it to make you happy. And be careful not to project your ambitions on to him. My DH and I are clearly two unique individuals motivated by distinctly different things. The sad thing is after all the nagging I did about HIS education, it really didn't surprise me or matter to me that he didn't complete his degree.

  4. sillyoleme Says:

    I agree with everyone... I have always tried to walk a thin line with BF's education. On the one hand, I feel like he has SO much potential, but in fields that you kind of need an degree to get in the door. But I have always wanted him to get his degree only if HE wanted to get it. That was the case with me... I was the first person in my family to get a college degree (of any kind), and it was because I wanted to, not because I had pressure from my family.

    So I try to be as supportive as possible when he mentions it, but I also don't want him to think he "has to" to please me. I think we both thought it was going to be easier for him to find a $12 or $13 an hour full-time job WITHOUT a degree... and now that it's not the case, he is realizing that he may need one.

    I would say there are some careers where college degrees don't count as much - construction, automotive, some sales, etc. But BF isn't really interested in any of those. In my opinion, he would be a very good teacher, coach, counselor, etc. But I'll let him figure that out for himself. Smile

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